Thrup’ney Bits – Tits.

Hidden Meanings in the design of the new pound coin?

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George Osborne, the current Chancellor of the Exchequer, has always been surrounded by tits – but now he’s really thrusting them in our face. Could it be that there is a hidden meaning behind the design of the new Pound coin?

Little Georgie, as I like to call him, is not a stranger to Cockney rhyming slang. He clearly demonstrated when giving a speech to some ‘common folk’ in a factory, dubbed his ‘Mockney Speech’ in 2013, he certainly knows his way around the local lingo. “What we really wannu ‘appen” and the timeless phrase, “The Briddish people badly wannit fixed” were just some of the shiners emanating from his well-oiled tongue that day. The real problem, though, is that his mocking of the poor has not ended and may in fact leave quite a lasting legacy.

I’m talking about the new ‘thrup’ney bit’ pound coin announced in the recent Budget 2014 which, with it’s 12 sided shape, resembles the old 3 pence coin issued at various times in English and British history. It is said that the issuing of this new coin will embrace the nostalgia of a golden era when Britain was emerging from the economic vacuum of the second world war – but I suspect that this new coin has an entirely different meaning all together – Osborne is telling us that new pound will have the equivalent value of the old 3 pence and we had all better smile and be thankful for our new, worthless, shiny currency and join the breadline and shut-up like obedient poor-folk always have.

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A Bit of Nostalgic History

The popularity of the 3 pence coin with the poorer classes really started with the reign of ‘Mad Old King George’ (George III) in the guise of ‘Maundy money’. A ceremony would take place each and every Maundy Thursday before Easter where the King would show his philanthropy and ‘deep caring’ for the poorest by presenting them with a specially minted thru’pence coin and this would be the signal for them to bow and curtsy and grovel at his boots for the tremendous generosity he was showing to them. Of course those folks would be eager to spend their new-found wealth and a range of foods, clothing and services would be eagerly awaiting them in the local markets priced to ‘co-incidentally’ exactly that amount.

You see, the 3 pence coin or ‘3d’ as it was once known, has always been associated with the poorest of society. In the slums of the Eastend of London, the going price for a quick rut with a Victorian wench was 3 pence for a ‘3 pence knee-trembler’ which would be a very swift experience, usually standing up in a dark, fetid side-alley. In Victorian England, the spirit Gin was seen as a good form of birth control, so the lucky lady would take herself straight to the local tavern for a large glass which would cost, un-coincidentally, exactly the three pence she had just received. This perpetuated their cycle of poverty and alcoholism and was seen by the upper classes as a good way to prevent the reproductive spread of ‘Unfortunates’ to the more civilised Westend.

You see, those who view themselves as the upper part of society have always had a mild disdain for the lowers and would often even invent ways to further the separation between the classes. It was true back then and that separation has only grown.

In fact, so divorced from normal life is George Osborne he thinks he fools us when he announces that we will save a meagre £45m by the new coin preventing counterfeiting! Surely we all realise that it is the counterfeiting of his criminal friends in the City of London that has cost our collective pockets billions in inflation and it is the gulf that now separates the super-super rich from the rest of us that is the real problem of society. Even the Royal mint who will be minting the coins has been part-privatised as a ‘trading fund’ and is controlled by people from the ‘Magic Circle’ of law firms in the City of London. It is true to say that the Royal Mint is now about as Royal as Royal Mail. Never mind the fact that the new shape will cost the economy £100m just to implement, as every cash carrying machine will have to update its mechanism.

So when the new ‘thrup’ney bit’ pound coin is minted and you feel in your pocket for that nostalgic 12 sided coin to buy a loaf of bread – remember that your leaders love you, they are working hard every day to improve your situation and they would never, ever want to completely screw you.

 

Samuel William is a videographer and social commentator who lives and works in London.

You can check out his work by visiting: http://www.youtube.com/swilliamism

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2 responses to “Thrup’ney Bits – Tits.

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